The energy in the room pulsates in an electric current that matches the beating of my heart. It overwhelms my senses and I am no longer able to compose a coherent thought. Beating so fast I can almost hear it.
How can one person do this to another? How can you do this to me without being anywhere near me, I was prepared for this, or so I thought. I had rehearsed what I would say. My voice would be confident, clear and without the usual stammer that appears when I am nervous. I really hate myself sometimes.
The nervous anticipation is too much and I know it is now or never. Inhale, exhale. I can’t believe I have to remind myself to breathe. I close my eyes and reach for the phone, almost dropping it from how hard my hands are shaking. The tempo of my heart picks up speed as I dial your number. I know the words I am going to stay right now I just need the strength to say them. Please just answer my call.